Monday, December 23, 2013

Facebook Is NOT Your Best Friend

How many friends do you have on Facebook?
I have 1,151.

Do you know how many stable relationships people can have, according to Dunbar's Number?

Do you know how many people who knows everything about me?

I used to be a Facebook-status-whore;
I put everything of me on Facebook; my problems, my happiness, my sadness, my depressions, my struggle with depression, my mood-swing, my broken heart.

Somehow I did not learn from my high school experience when I shared my deepest secret with some people who turn out to think that I was seeking for attention and hated me for it (and by the way, I then asked for their forgiveness for being so annoying).

Years gone by after that particular moment and still I put myself out there on Facebook, giving myself on a plate to be judged and seen through by everybody (1,151 people, that is), just because I want to be completely honest in life, because I want to scream without any sound, never knowing that the scream created huge wave-effect, coming back to me and gladly drowning me in the deep sea of terror and unworthiness.

I found people talk about it, not in an empathic ways. Once again some says I was seeking for attention, and the only attention I was getting is pity, which might be the least thing I need when I am in the middle of a huge self-esteem and self-worth problem.

But then I found myself what they call best friends.
In different levels and moments of my life, they keep showing up, they know the bad and the ugly, they see me in tantrums and breakdowns, and still they stand up for me against others. They didn't post any comment on my status, but texted me instead to offer their ears for my story, offer their energy, time, and space to help me get through it, though sometimes the only thing they can do is just to listen. But most of the times, it is enough.

They are the people with whom I share my life with and take it as an honour.

There will never be 1,151 people in your life who would actually do that.

You might be loved for your work, for your vision, for your words, for your thoughts, and you might impress thousands or millions. But the most sacred place in your heart should not contain all of them.

Share your story only to people who earn the right to hear your story. --Brene Brown

It doesn't mean we have to keep our life secret to everybody, because you have no idea how many people might be inspired by what you are going through, and sometimes you will find out how many unexpected people would actually support you during tough times.

But a story compromising your sense of worth, a story you know will affect you immensely, a story you are actually afraid to tell; choose wisely whom you share those stories with. Because (I learned the real hard way, and still learning) we are all worthy of love and belonging, and sharing that kind of story with the people who do not care will only add the salt to the wound.

Do not cast your pearl before the swine.

Stop pouring your whole heart out on Facebook.

Choose wisely.

Somebody who loves you for all you are might just be a phone call away.


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